the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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