I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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