i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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