How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize