Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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