im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
