I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You can't special order awesome
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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