Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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