I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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