Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
