just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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