It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
