the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Everything about him screamed your future.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
