i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
