my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
