butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
why is half of my head shaved?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
