i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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