I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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