We won't sleep together?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think i scared a bird with my dick
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
