I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
