i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize