Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
