I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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