I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We talked him into tasing himself.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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