Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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