I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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