DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
