is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
