Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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