Your tits are I can't wait for
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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