everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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