I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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