O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
