I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
