If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
