the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize