how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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