At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
