We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
