week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
