Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
