I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
