Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
