just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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