Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
