fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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