I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
