omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
