1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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