We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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