I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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