was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
