You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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