This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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