So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
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Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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