Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
