guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
