Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
