i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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