Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
