he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize